"THE SUN IS SHINING, ALLAN!"

Barbara stood butt naked on the balcony with her eyes closed enjoying the sunshine warming her entire body. It had been a long, harsh winter and her husband had forbidden her from going to the tanning salon after he got fired and they were running low on money. It had become a luxury they could no longer afford, so she welcomed the first real light of spring with literally open arms.

"HONEY!" Allan stood petrified in the middle of the living room.

"WHAT?" Barbara snapped and turned around to look at him while a car that passed honked at her.

The kids were clinging hard onto Allan's legs. Their little Sasha was crying.

"PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!" Allan screamed. "I can't watch it any longer, dad." their son Simon said and ran out of the room crying, as he went up the stairs he yelled: "My eyes are burning!"

"BUT THE SUN IS SHINING, ALLAN!"

"The kids are crying, Barbara!"

"I don't give a fuck, Allan. You took my tanning priveledges, now I'll scare our children forever."

"But you have warts all over your butt!" Allan said

"I literally give zero fucks, Allan!"

"Mum, please... The neighbors saw. Their girls are tweeting it. It's.. it's already been retweeted 1.400 times! Mum!" their daughter pleaded.

"Honey, when you've squeezed two melon sized aliens out of your vagina one day, which has caused you to lose all your youthful elasticity, so you start buying anti-age things society makes you think you need and all that truly cheers you up is a tan then you'll be doing the exact same thing. One day you will understand."

"Dad, can the neighbor lady adopt me?" Sasha looked at her dad with tears in her eyes. "I can't live like this anymore."

"We can't keep her in the basement again, honey. The cops almost found out the last time." Allan stroked his daughter's hair lovingly.

"The basement? No, no! Not that place!" Barbara was still scarred by the memory of the months she spent among the laundry and extra cornflakes boxes they bought on sale. She started to panic. She needed her tan and she needed her freedom.

"You'll never catch me, Allan!" she yelled and parkoured over the edge of balcony and everything bounced as she sprinted across the road, dodging a big truck and some horrified kindergarteners on the opposite sidewalk before she dived into the neighbor's bush (an actual natural bush, stop thinking like that.)

Sasha was about to run after her mum when Allan stopped her, she looked at him and he said calmly as he looked at the Barbara shaped in hole in the neighbor's bush:

"Get the leash, Sasha. We're gonna hunt mum."