Don't Call Her

"Honey, you can't walk on both ropes at the same time. That's not what people come to see."

"Are you sure? But why does it say so on the poster then? HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

"I'm cutting one of the ropes."

"I'M ON THE GODDAMN THING. YOU CAN'T CUT IT DOWN!"

"Well, look at me doing it, Miss."

"Then I'm gonna have to stand on just one rope!"

"Yeah! Like you're freaking supposed to."

"Well, I'm gonna go home then."

"If you go home, you're fired."

"I don't care. Fire me. We'll see what happens when I call my lawyer."

"Please don't call your lawyer. You know I have a past with her."

"Yeah, I know. That's exactly why I'm gonna call exactly her. It's gonna get reaaally awkward, Gary."

"Don't call her, Diana. I can't see her again. Please."

"Then don't fire me. And put up an extra rope."

"Fine. Just don't call her."